In what must be a surprisingly from-the-right screed on MSNBC’s Slate, Daniel Engber contents that the fat epidemic in America should not exclude tubbies from the army.
That train of thought is all manner of wrong, and brings up way too many questions, most of which can be distilled into one primary one:
Of all the reasons Americans have to get into shape, who said “because the army needs recruits” was anywhere near the top?
But really, any particular aspect of the article’s insinuations is fucked up in its own right:
- The premise that there are people who still, after these years-long quagmires in ill-conceived offensive wars, want to join the army but can’t because they forgot the “able-bodied” part.*
- The idea that this poses a problem because then the nation couldn’t pull from a large enough pool of Americans to pursue yet another war, because that’s all they’re good for anyway.**
- The assertion that this problem is not the fault of their obesity but, instead, is the fault of the government for using “outdated” requirements – because standard measurements in the populace at large should change dramatically over the course of two generations.
Each one of those is insane. Abso-fucking-lutely insane.
* Picture your average Michigan militia, or better yet: Canadian Bacon.
** Cue a Dead Kennedys song.